Tag: Life

I Need Less Light

My house is slowly reverting back to the cave it was before Djamila came into my life. When she was here, the curtains were always opened to allow the sun and the natural light to permeate the rooms. Even in the brutal heat of the south Texas summers, the windows were open a crack to…

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I Need a Fucking Towel

It just comes in waves, my friend. Wave after wave after wave after wave. Sometimes, the waves only hit me chest high and I remain standing when they hit, bruised and aching, but otherwise okay. Sometimes, the waves lap deliciously at my feet. It feels safe but if I pay close attention, I can see…

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One Year

It has been exactly one year since DJ died and not a day goes by that I don’t think of her. This has been one of the hardest years of my life but in the midst of all this sorrow, I want to do my best to remember Djamila as light and color and laughter.…

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I Need More Color

If you read my last post, then I guess you’ll understand when I tell you that my pants are falling off me. Literally. I started wearing TomboyX brand underwear just so I’d have something cool written on the waistband of my undies in case my pants ever actually fell off. I HATE shopping for clothes.…

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I Need to Keep Losing

I have been on Weight Watchers for about a year and a half now. When I started going (again), Djamila was a not entirely happy about it and I understood why. I’m not a yo-yo dieter, but I was always looking for ways to lose weight and get a little healthier. I tried different techniques…

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I Need Strength

Are there any Stephen King fans out there? If so, have you read Desperation? If you haven’t, let me give you a quick synopsis: There is a small town that goes by the name of Desperation, Nevada. Bad things are happening in Desperation. There are many characters to meet, but one of the main characters is…

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I Need More Light

How do you gauge the depth of a loss? What do we use to measure it? Time? Memories? Stuff? I don’t know. I only know that all of it contributes to the overwhelming feeling of being lost. Loss and feeling lost. Most definitely not the same and certainly not mutually exclusive, but related none the…

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I Need Everything

I thought I knew what loss was…I have lost important people in my life. My grandmothers and grandfathers, my father, my aunt, my cousin…all important to me. Their lives were interwoven with mine in any number of ways. I loved my maternal grandmother, dearly. She raised me and helped me to become the woman I…

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