Tag: Life Sucks

I Need Inner Peace

Sometimes, I very selfishly think to myself, “you could have fought harder”. It’s a shit-ass thing to think because I know that Djamila was in a lot of pain before she died. The pain consumed her and in the midst of it all, there was really nothing I could do to help. I did my…

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I Need to Find Myself

I want to know when I’ll stop thinking in “this is what I was doing last year” increments of time? It doesn’t help a damned thing when I think that way but I just can’t seem to stop myself. This time last year, it was our last Easter together. This time last year, I rented…

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I Need Strength

Are there any Stephen King fans out there? If so, have you read┬áDesperation? If you haven’t, let me give you a quick synopsis: There is a small town that goes by the name of Desperation, Nevada. Bad things are happening in Desperation. There are many characters to meet, but one of the main characters is…

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I Need Everything

I thought I knew what loss was…I have lost important people in my life. My grandmothers and grandfathers, my father, my aunt, my cousin…all important to me. Their lives were interwoven with mine in any number of ways. I loved my maternal grandmother, dearly. She raised me and helped me to become the woman I…

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I Need to Drink More Tea

Today, I went to a nearby mall to pick up a few things I needed. I hate malls. If I have to go to a mall, I much prefer the newer version that is basically a park and walk kind of mall. Many different stores in one convenient location, but with the ability to walk…

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I Need Together

It is currently 69 degrees Fahrenheit and it’s the first cool night we’ve had since spring, here in San Antonio. Tonight, I miss DJ more than usual because on the first cool evening after the long, hot South Texas summer, it was our custom to step out onto our back deck, right before bedtime, and…

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I Need a “Best Life”

These last few days, I’ve been camping in the RV that DJ and I were supposed to use to travel around the U.S. Even though she never set foot in it after the first visit when we decided to buy it, I feel her presence here with me. Right after we bought it, she came…

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I Don’t Need a Train Ride

There is a train at the station. This train is comprised of many cars. There are several cars that appear to be having wonderful parties. People are drinking and laughing and enjoying themselves. There are other cars that are more sedate. People are sitting and conversing with animated gestures and intense faces. There are other…

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I Need a Rewind Button

Last night I asked God to rewind my life back to six months ago. I figured that would be enough time for me to tell DJ to get to an OB/GYN and to get a pap smear or to have an exam that might catch the cancer before it progressed. I prayed that when I…

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