Tag: Life Sucks

I Need Less Light

My house is slowly reverting back to the cave it was before Djamila came into my life. When she was here, the curtains were always opened to allow the sun and the natural light to permeate the rooms. Even in the brutal heat of the south Texas summers, the windows were open a crack to…

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I Need a Fucking Towel

It just comes in waves, my friend. Wave after wave after wave after wave. Sometimes, the waves only hit me chest high and I remain standing when they hit, bruised and aching, but otherwise okay. Sometimes, the waves lap deliciously at my feet. It feels safe but if I pay close attention, I can see…

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I Need Inner Peace

Sometimes, I very selfishly think to myself, “you could have fought harder”. It’s a shit-ass thing to think because I know that Djamila was in a lot of pain before she died. The pain consumed her and in the midst of it all, there was really nothing I could do to help. I did my…

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I Need to Find Myself

I want to know when I’ll stop thinking in “this is what I was doing last year” increments of time? It doesn’t help a damned thing when I think that way but I just can’t seem to stop myself. This time last year, it was our last Easter together. This time last year, I rented…

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I Need Strength

Are there any Stephen King fans out there? If so, have you read Desperation? If you haven’t, let me give you a quick synopsis: There is a small town that goes by the name of Desperation, Nevada. Bad things are happening in Desperation. There are many characters to meet, but one of the main characters is…

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I Need Everything

I thought I knew what loss was…I have lost important people in my life. My grandmothers and grandfathers, my father, my aunt, my cousin…all important to me. Their lives were interwoven with mine in any number of ways. I loved my maternal grandmother, dearly. She raised me and helped me to become the woman I…

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I Need to Drink More Tea

Today, I went to a nearby mall to pick up a few things I needed. I hate malls. If I have to go to a mall, I much prefer the newer version that is basically a park and walk kind of mall. Many different stores in one convenient location, but with the ability to walk…

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I Need Together

It is currently 69 degrees Fahrenheit and it’s the first cool night we’ve had since spring, here in San Antonio. Tonight, I miss DJ more than usual because on the first cool evening after the long, hot South Texas summer, it was our custom to step out onto our back deck, right before bedtime, and…

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I Need a “Best Life”

These last few days, I’ve been camping in the RV that DJ and I were supposed to use to travel around the U.S. Even though she never set foot in it after the first visit when we decided to buy it, I feel her presence here with me. Right after we bought it, she came…

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