Tag: depression

I Need Less Light

My house is slowly reverting back to the cave it was before Djamila came into my life. When she was here, the curtains were always opened to allow the sun and the natural light to permeate the rooms. Even in the brutal heat of the south Texas summers, the windows were open a crack to…

Read more I Need Less Light

I Need a Fucking Towel

It just comes in waves, my friend. Wave after wave after wave after wave. Sometimes, the waves only hit me chest high and I remain standing when they hit, bruised and aching, but otherwise okay. Sometimes, the waves lap deliciously at my feet. It feels safe but if I pay close attention, I can see…

Read more I Need a Fucking Towel

I Need Inner Peace

Sometimes, I very selfishly think to myself, “you could have fought harder”. It’s a shit-ass thing to think because I know that Djamila was in a lot of pain before she died. The pain consumed her and in the midst of it all, there was really nothing I could do to help. I did my…

Read more I Need Inner Peace

I Need More Adventure

I was talking to a friend this morning…well, more writing to a friend than talking, I suppose. She read my last couple of posts and suggested I find something to do that required concentration and focus. Something, I suppose, that would distract me from my memories of what happened last year around this time. Her…

Read more I Need More Adventure

I Need to Find Myself

I want to know when I’ll stop thinking in “this is what I was doing last year” increments of time? It doesn’t help a damned thing when I think that way but I just can’t seem to stop myself. This time last year, it was our last Easter together. This time last year, I rented…

Read more I Need to Find Myself