I Need to Keep Losing

I have been on Weight Watchers for about a year and a half now. When I started going (again), Djamila was a not entirely happy about it and I understood why. I’m not a yo-yo dieter, but I was always looking for ways to lose weight and get a little healthier. I tried different techniques from time to time but I had joined Weight Watchers when DJ first moved in with me and although I’d been successful, after my scooter accident and recovery, I just sort of petered out and didn’t go back.

When I said I was re-joining, I know DJ was a little skeptical. It’s not that she didn’t think I’d lose weight but rather, I think she wondered if I would actually stick with it this time. Here’s the beautiful thing, though; despite her skepticism, every Wednesday evening, when I’d get home after my meeting, as soon as she heard the front door open, the first thing I’d hear coming from the other room was her voice saying, “Well…how much did you lose?”

Even on those weeks when she knew I had been eating fast food a few nights in a row, or those weekends where we both indulged in food I knew I shouldn’t have been indulging in, even on those days when I woke up that morning saying I knew I had gained weight instead of losing it, the question every Wednesday evening was always the same. “How much did you lose?”

It was never different. It was never an impatient question. It was never a condescending question. It was never mired in skepticism. It was never “How did you do?” implying that it could have gone either way. It was always an encouraging question. It was a question mired in the belief that I had been successful, even when both of us knew I really hadn’t been. And on those days when I gained weight, her response was always one of utter disbelief. As though she could not understand how I’d managed to gain weight when I was working so hard to lose it.

When DJ died last year, I thought about giving up Weight Watchers again. I am not an emotional eater but it seemed that going to the meetings and continuing my weight loss journey was now passé. Something that was irrelevant now that she was gone. Despite these negative thoughts in my head, I decided to go continue on with Weight Watchers.

I went to a meeting the week after DJ passed and told my group leader that DJ had died. I also told a few of the people in my group and everyone was lovely to me but not only that, I realized that it was important for me to have some continuity in my life and my Weight Watchers meetings were part of that continuity. The entire group signed a condolence card and sent it to me. Some of the people in the group I had known only peripherally came forward and befriended me, offering to talk or have a bite to eat after the meeting.

Yesterday, I went to my meeting and found out I’ve lost 35.6 pounds since I started two years ago. I am at the lowest weight I’ve been since the 1990’s. My doctor took me off Metformin about a 8 months ago and I’m feeling pretty good about myself.

The only thing I’m missing, the only other thing I need on my weigh-in day, is that one person waiting for me to walk in the door and ask me, with complete conviction and belief, “Well…how much did you lose?”.

I Need Lost Love Sadness Weight Loss Weight Watchers

Monica View All →

I enjoy reading and have blogged in the past about travel and books. My latest blog is a vanity blog. I write about whatever comes to mind, specifically, things I think I need in life. Hope you enjoy!

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