I Need A Memory Machine

As I walk around this empty house, I am amazed at what constitutes a person’s life once they’ve left us.

Bits of paper with scribbled notes. Receipts. Old greeting cards. Snacks. Clothing. Jewelry. Flotsam and jetsam are the words that appeared most prominently in my mind as I tossed and turned in bed the other morning.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could record our best times from beginning to end? Not just in bits and pieces…an email or text here and there, but as several, long recorded events. A good conversation over breakfast. Sitting quietly in the car, holding hands as you drive to the grocery store. Taking a walk in a wooded area and smelling the freshness in the air. Even the back and forth bickering, as each of you take stabs at the other’s habits that drive you up the wall. All of these times should be able to be indelible and easy to retrieve at any time, yet, they are not.

When DJ and I first met, her taste in music was, in my humble opinion, deplorable. She lingered in the teeny-bopper “it’s-got-a-great-beat” era for far too long. Some of her mix cd’s were labeled “DJ’s Delite”, something for which I gave her grief over many years. On Friday evening, the day she passed away, I couldn’t for the life of me remember that label…I knew it was DJ’s something but I could not remember the word (in her own spelling and yes, she knew she was spelling it incorrectly) DELITE. I ran around the house, frantically looking through her playlists on iTunes, hoping she still had a playlist with that name. I looked through her old cd’s but couldn’t find any she had recorded. I cried out of frustration that it hadn’t even been a day with her gone and I was already forgetting something about her that I loved.

I know, as time passes, I may forget more and more of those tiny things. The tiny things that made that person someone real. These are the things that define the person we loved, not the detritus they leave behind and I would give my right arm to be able to go back and pay attention, real attention, to those small moments. The ones we so easily take for granted. The ones that disappear as quickly as they appeared, maybe never to be seen again.

 

 

 

Photo source: http://bit.ly/29pc6iS

I Need Life Sucks Love Personal

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Monica View All →

I enjoy reading and have blogged in the past about travel and books. My latest blog is a vanity blog. I write about whatever comes to mind, specifically, things I think I need in life. Hope you enjoy!

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